A NEW BLOG!

Thank you so much for being part of this blog, Your Happiest Life. If you enjoy being inspired with stories and cutting-edge advice on how to live your happiest life, then come over to my NEW BLOG. That's where I'll be posting from now on.

Let's stay connected! You'll find all my latest articles here: darlenemininni.com


xo Darlene

3 Simple Ways To Create The Life You Want

If you could change one thing in your life, what would it be? Your job? Your finances? Your contribution to the world? Many people dream of something better or something more, but the road from hope to reality can be a bumpy one.  

To create the life you want, you need more than goals and objectives. You need to shake up your normal way of doing things, how you view of yourself and your relationships. Here are 3 simple ways to do that.

1. Do One Thing Differently: Change is often tough because you're used to doing things the way you've always done them. That's called a habit. Thanks to your basal ganglia--the habit-center of your brain--you can drive home from work without even remembering how you got there. Sometimes being on automatic pilot is good, but not when you want to revitalize your life. To do that, you need to use your prefrontal cortex--the thinking-center of your brain.  

To start, you'll need to escape the fog of your routine. Find something in your day you can mix up: eat something new for breakfast, rearrange the furniture in your bedroom, visit a museum on your lunch hour. This engages the decision-making part of your brain that moves you forward.  

ACTION STEP: What one habit in your routine can you change today?

2. Shift Your Identity: How you view yourself is connected to the choices you make. If you think of yourself as unlucky, you probably won't apply for that competitive job. But if you see yourself as a winner, you likely will. That means to change your life, you need to see yourself in a new way.  

First, imagine who you want to be rather than what you want to do. Maybe instead of a couch potato you want to see yourself as fit. Carry that new self-image in your mind, and when the opportunity arises, ask yourself, "What would a fit person do?" If you're about to hop onto the elevator, you might now decide to take the stairs instead. Over time, you begin to rewire your brain with this new identity, and little by little, your life transforms.  

ACTION STEP: Who would you need to be to create the life you want? Start making choices as if you are that person already.

3. Connect with Supportive People: You can create change alone, but having cheerleaders along the way propels you forward faster, further and with less effort. Imagine how much easier it is to eat healthy when you've got a cooking buddy or to start a new business when you have a mentor?  

People with just one person in their corner to support, motivate or inspire them, have lower blood pressure, less anxiety and higher self-esteem. And with each connection--whether it's a listening ear, an approving nod or help loading your trunk--you'll stimulate the release of hormones responsible for calm and relaxation.  

ACTION STEP: When you think about the change you want in your life, who can help you make it happen? Find those people and ask for their support today.

Dr. Drew's New TV Show - Lifechangers!

Dr. Darlene Mininni Joins The Team!

I'm so excited to be part of Dr. Drew's new show Lifechangers as its resident Happiness Expert.

The program, which premieres September 19 on the CW, provides guests and viewers with simple, practical tools to turn their lives around on topics ranging from relationships to health to fitness.

Don't miss it!

Meet the Lifechangers

Is There An Upside To The Downside?

Nobody wants bad stuff to happen to them, yet sooner or later, if you're human, it probably will.

But the good news is that despite the difficulty of some events--like illness, job loss or financial troubles--many people come out the other side not only surviving, but thriving. There's even a name for it: Post-Traumatic Growth.

That was the case for Harry Potter best-selling author JK Rowlings as she looks back at the hardships she endured as a struggling, depressed single mother determined to write a book.

Although you probably won't feel the upside of your suffering when you're in the thick of it, given some time, many people, including JK, say they're stronger, wiser and more deeply connected to people because of it.

How To Grow From Tough Situations

If you're dealing with a hardship, here are 3 suggestions to help you ultimately thrive:

1. Accept It. When you're in a crisis, wishing things were different only makes it worse. Start by accepting where you are. JK Rowlings says doing that gave her a sense of freedom that allowed her to pursue her path.

2. Discover Your Strengths. Sometimes you don't realize the depth of your courage, your tenacity or your talents until they've been tested. The famous author found that she had a strong will and an ability to survive that she never knew.

3. Connect with Caring People. Accepting help from people who care about you will make you stronger. JK says adversity helped her realize the gift of her true friendships.

What Has Life Taught You?

Every experience in your life teaches you something. Some life lessons are fun to learn like: pudding tastes better with whipped cream. Then there are the lessons that aren't so fun like: losing a loved one hurts.

But what about other peoples' experiences? Can they teach you something too? I've always been inspired listening to peoples' stories because I believe every person's experience has something to teach me.

How To Benefit From Others' Stories

As you listen to others' stories, ask yourself these 2 questions:

1. What I can learn from their experience?

2. How do their lessons apply to my own life?

Here's a story from journalist and former California First Lady Maria Shriver that inspired me:

When Maria Shriver was "freaking out" trying to balance family, marriage and career, she felt like she was coming up short in every area. Then one day her mother said to her, "Maria, you can have and be all the things you want to be. Just do it over a lifetime. Don't try to do them all at once, because you can't."

That story meant a lot to me. It's a lesson I never forgot.

Steve Jobs' Advice For You!

If you've ever heard of the Mac computer, iPod or iPhone, then you've heard of Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer. He's a revoluntionary thinker, cultural icon and former TIME magazine Person of the Year.

But the path for this wildly successful college drop-out hasn't been an easy one. In fact, it's been surprisingly difficult. That's why I want to share his moving story with you. In his 15-minute graduation speech to Stanford University students, Steve reveals how his hard-won wisdom has ultimately guided his life.

In your life, you're sure to face unexpected or unwanted challenges. If so, remember Steve's inspiring lessons:

• Believe in yourself
• Have faith in your future
• Follow your heart

WATCH STEVE'S

WORDS OF WISDOM

My Holiday Gift To You!

Are you stressed just thinking about the holidays?

Then go to the beach.

The holidays can be a time of joy and fun. They can also be a time for worry and stress. So wouldn't be nice if you could get away to a peaceful beach whenever you felt overwhelmed? Well, you can...with guided imagery.

Guided imagery is a relaxation technique that uses the power of your imagination to calm your mind and body. Since your brain doesn't know the difference between reality and fantasy, when you daydream in a focused way, your body thinks it's real.

As my holiday gift to you, I've recorded a special guided imagery where I personally guide you through a 6-minute beach getaway. You can listen to it on your lunch break, before bed, whenever you'd like. You'll feel like you've just taken a mini-vacation. Looks like a little daydreaming can be a good thing after all.

Happy Holidays and Enjoy!

Free Beach Getaway Guided Imagery

WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL LOVED?

It's been said that you feel loved when your partner loves you the way you need to be loved. And it's different for everyone. So I asked people--men and women--one simple question: What makes you feel loved? Here's what they told me:

Men

Knowing that my wife trusts me with her heart and her life. It is the most awesome and humbling responsibility.

When she makes my special macaroni dish.

When we cuddle up late at night, skin to skin.

I can't tell you how many people have told me that they've never seen my new wife this happy. Ever. To think that I can be that person for someone else...that makes me feel loved.

When she allows me the space to do the things I love.

Knowing she's attracted to me.

Feeling heard and appreciated makes me feel loved.

Women

When things fall apart--anything from illness to a flat tire--he drops everything to help and be with me.

When he cooks for us, I feel loved.

After a hard day, we come together at night, and he tells me to come get in his arms, and tells me how much he loves me and what a good wife I am.

When we take care of each other, like when he brings me coffee in bed.

When he makes my lunch and packs it with a love note.

When he notices I'm not myself and is able to guess what's wrong before I'm even aware of it.

When he tells me he desires me.

Now It's Your Turn

Ask yourself: What makes YOU feel loved? Ask your mate. You can even ask your kids. I'm sure it will spur a great conversation!

HOW TO REVERSE YOUR BODY'S AGING CLOCK 16 YEARS OR MORE

Lots of people rely on expensive creams and elixirs to maintain their youthful looks. But the secret to slow and even reverse your physical age up to 16 years or more is likely to be found in an unexpected place -- your emotions.

It turns out people who know how to deal with life's inevitable stresses have better health, fewer wrinkles and less gray hair. In other words, their bodies are younger. If you'd like to slow your body's aging process using your emotions, try these tips.

3 Steps To Get Younger

1. Connect with Supportive People: This is the most powerful way to slow the aging process. Dr. Michael Roizen of the Cleveland Clinic suggests the physical anti-aging benefits of being with caring people can be up to 30 years! When you're dealing with hard times--whether a major illness or a family crisis--make sure to get the help of friends, family and organizations.

2. Avoid Aversion Thinking: When stress happens, we don't like it. That's when we use aversion thinking--wishing things were different--such as: "I hate this situation," or "I wish I had a better job." Instead, try accepting your situation, even if you don't like it, by saying, "Right now, this is what it is, so how can I make the best of it?" That doesn't mean you won't try to improve your circumstances, but you won't add to your stress by fighting with it.

3. Meditation: When you're stressed, you often think of the future and everything that can go wrong like, "What will happen if I can't figure this out?" Meditation is a simple way to keep your mind focused on the present moment, the only place you have any real control in your life. Here's a simple meditation to help keep you grounded.

3 Small Steps To Make Big Changes In Your Life

Lots of people think they need a giant explosion in their lives to make the big changes they want. But they don't. As a wise counselor once told me, "You tackle big changes by working on small pieces." I believe she's right. So here are three small pieces you can focus on today to set the stage for big changes.

3 Small Steps To Make Big Changes In Your Life

1. Do One Thing Differently: Sometimes change can be difficult because you're so used to doing things the way you've always done them. That's a habit. To undo habits, find one thing you can do differently today: change your hairstyle, rearrange your bedroom furniture or take a drive in your brother's new red sports car! This primes your brain to think in a new way. What habit can you change today?

2. Change Your Identity: Old habits can tie you to an old identity, and that can stop you from having the life you want. Here's how it works. Maybe your identity is, "I'm the person who doesn't know anything about managing money." Jump into a new experience--like taking a money-management class or joining an investment club--and you shift how you see yourself ("I'm the person who knows how money works!") and that makes big change possible. How is your identity holding you back, and what can you do to change it?

3. Connect with Supportive People: Change often works best with cheerleaders along the way. Just one person who believes in you can make a world of difference. Find those people, and get their support. Who will support you?

How To Survive A Personal Crisis

Sooner or later, we all have a crisis in our lives. It might be the death of a loved one, the end of a treasured relationship or the loss of a job. So how do we manage the emotional turmoil that comes with a sudden or unwelcome change?

3 Ways To Survive A Personal Crisis

I've found 3 strategies help me and my clients when life's low points arrive:

Supportive people: Rely on the caring people in your life during hard times. There may be moments when it feels as if others seem to carry you when you cannot carry yourself. Open yourself to their generosity and allow them to help you.

Stay in the moment: When a crisis arrives, it's natural to jump ahead to the future and worry about what problems--real and imagined--might lurk ahead. While it's good to be prepared and informed, it's also good to stay focused on the present, and take it one step at a time.

Feel what you feel: When emotional pain hits, you may want to run from it and bury yourself in distractions like busy activities or work. But running from your feelings just makes them hang around longer. Accept your emotions and allow them. Sometimes you may need the support of a counselor or therapist to do this so you can be guided and supported along the way.

FREE TELESEMINAR!

HOW TO CREATE MORE SUCCESS AND

HAPPINESS IN YOUR LIFE USING

YOUR TRAIT-20 PROFILE!

Tuesday, June 22, 6:00pm PST

REGISTER NOW

Listen to this complimentary call, and you’ll discover:

• What is your Trait-20 Profile and why it’s so important to your success in life
• How your life can improve in every area—from love to health to career and even income— when you know how to use and strengthen your Trait-20 Profile
• How to boost your Trait-20 Profile Score
• Exciting details about my new Trait-20 Private Consulting

REGISTER NOW

Did you know your success in life can be traced to the 20 thoughts and actions you take most often?

I call it your Trait 20TM-Profile. People with strong Trait-20TM Profiles:

• Make more money
• Age up to 16 years more slowly
• Have better health
• Enjoy more fulfilling relationships

Imagine if YOU were one of those people.

Learn more at Trait-20 Private Consulting.

The Dr. Darlene Mininni Show

The last episode of my radio program, The Dr. Darlene Mininni Show, aired Sunday, December 27 on KTLK in Los Angeles. It's been a blast producing and hosting the show -- more fun than I can say.

Thanks to all you listeners for your support and enthusiasm. And special thanks to all my wonderful guests who shared their inspiring stories.

If you'd like to listen to selected show recordings, go to my PODCAST PAGE As for me, I'm busy creating new ways for you to live better and be happier in 2010! Stay tuned! XO!

Happiness In A Woman's Nation

Have you ever had a tough day, and someone says, “Boy, you look tired.” And oddly, that makes you feel better?

That’s what happened last week for millions of American women when the Center for American Progress and Maria Shriver released The Shriver Report: A Woman’s Nation Changes Everything, a vivid portrait of women’s real lives and their changing roles. Many women exhaled a collective sigh and said, “Finally, you noticed.”

The news was mixed. Although there have been advances in education and career opportunities, many of the women Maria Shriver talked with say they feel increasingly “stressed, misunderstood, isolated and invisible.” They shared that “never before has so much been asked of them.”

In my own work, I meet women who are feeling the pressure: balancing work with child-raising, worrying about layoffs, caring for aging parents, or staying at jobs that drain them so they can keep their health insurance.

What Can We Do?

Clearly government and business policies need to adapt to the changes in American life. But what can women do until that happens? How do we handle day-to-day stresses so we can be happier?

4 Strategies For A Happier Life

As author Jon Kabat-Zinn says, “You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” So how do you surf these waves of change? I believe you can do it, in part, by rewiring your brain and strengthening your body so you become more resilient to stress. You do it by learning to calm and soothe yourself during difficult times. You do it by creating your own emotional toolkit: a system to help you understand your stress points and practical strategies to boost your ability to respond effectively. Here are four of those strategies.

1. Connect. When men and women talk with a caring person about their worries, their bodies produce hormones that calm and relax them. But for women, estrogen magnifies and intensifies that soothing effect making you feel even better. Indeed, women are physically hardwired to connect with others. The next time you have a hard day, talk with your mate, a friend, your sister or a counselor. Share your story with others. Use your connections for logistical as well as emotional help. Create a support network like a rotating carpool, a college student helper or family back-up system.

2. Be Realistic. Many women have too much to do, and then blame themselves when they don’t do it all perfectly. If you can’t remove things from your plate, focus on success rather than perfection. Realize that when you strive to be perfect at anything, you set yourself up for failure — either you’re perfect or you’re a failure. Stop all-or-nothing thinking. Aim to be good enough by asking yourself, “What’s the worst that would happen if I was good enough, and not perfect at this task or this role?” Chances are, you and everyone around you will still be okay.

3. Learn To Negotiate. As roles change for the sexes, becoming a true partner with your mate is critical. According to The Shriver Report, “An overwhelming majority of both men and women said they're sitting down at their kitchen tables to coordinate their family's schedules, duties, and responsibilities, including child care and elder care, at least two to three times a week.” If teamwork is the path to relationship and life success, then knowing how to negotiate is crucial. Take a positive approach to problem solving. Use “How” questions rather than “Why” questions. For example, “How can we make this work?” rather than, “Why does this always happen?” Focus on what you can do rather than what you can’t. Sometimes relationships aren’t always 50/50. They’ll be times when you get more and times when your partner will. That’s okay as long as each is guaranteed a turn.

4. Sleep. It’s no secret that most women don’t get enough sleep. The prescribed 7-8 hours can easily fall by the wayside when you’re too busy to go to bed or too frazzled to fall asleep. But you need to try anyway. Sleep reduces your stress by improving your ability to think clearly, lifting your mood and boosting your energy. Sleep can even help you lose the weight that stress helped you gain. If you’re not getting enough sleep, try these tips:

- Write a To-Do list for tomorrow so your thinking won’t keep you awake.

- Exercise: Take a walk during your lunch break or after dinner. If that’s not possible, try to move more during the day by taking the stairs instead of the elevator or stretching your body before going to bed.

- Cut back on caffeine, especially at night.

- Practice deep breathing before bed to relax and slow your mind.

In A Woman’s Nation, there are more opportunities for both achievement and stress. I hope the day will come when our society figures a way to support both men and women in their quests for balanced and healthy lives. Until that day, having an emotional toolkit is vital to your happiness.

Emotional Tools for Kids

Emotional toolkits aren’t just for grown-ups. Kids need them too!

In her wonderful new book “The Power of Your Child’s Imagination,” my colleague, educational psychologist Dr. Reznick shows children how to reduce anxiety and feel happier using simple, practical mind-body strategies.

Teach your kids tools that will last a lifetime! Purchase her book, and you can pick from 80 free introductory bonus gifts. Just go to: http://www.ImageryForKids.com/book.

The Value of Role Models

I just love role models. I'm always looking for people to inspire me and show me new ways of being and doing things. I believe that other people, whether we know them personally or meet them through stories, can truly change our lives. That's why I just had to share this video with you. I love it. 

It's an interview with Mayor Hazel McCallion of Mississauga in Canada. But she's not just any mayor. She's 88 years old and plays ice hockey! Now that's inspiring!

Change Your Mind

This is an amazing video! Change the way you see the world and yourself, and you can change your life. Check it out!

The Dr. Darlene Mininni Show

I'm just back from Clear Channel Studios in Burbank after taping the first episodes of my new radio show. It was so much fun! 

I've designed each program to give you the latest cutting edge strategies to boost your optimism and resilience and even reverse your physical age up to 16 years in the process. And like all my work, it's based on science so you can trust you're getting the real deal to live your happiest life. And of course, I've got lots of free stuff to give away.

So listen in. And you'll learn how people just like you are making their lives the best they can be. What a perfect way to start the New Year!

Although the show is based on Los Angeles radio, you can listen on your computer wherever you are! Just go to KTLK.com and click "Listen Live." The show premieres Sunday, January 4, 2009 at 8:30am PST (that's 11:30am on the east coast).

From my family to yours, have a wonderful holiday.

Honoring Studs Terkel

Last month we lost an American icon. His name was Studs Terkel. For those of you not familiar with the man or his work, he was a Pulitzer prize-winning author, storyteller and radio host.

But perhaps Studs is best known for his uncanny knack to show us ourselves. He interviewed and told the stories of America's unsung heroes: men and women working every day to earn a paycheck and take care of their families.

Studs left behind an oral history of our country that wove his conversations with real people against a backdrop of the day's events. As one journalist recalled, "When Studs listened, people talked." And we all benefitted. Thanks Studs.

Click here to find out more about Studs Terkel.